Well, after 60 games there is only 1 bracket that will win the 2022 Uncle Dino's NCAA Pool, and that bracket belongs to Danielle I-Used-Quick-Pick Tarp! Thank you to everyone who participated In this year's pool and for your donations to the V Foundation and its goal to eradicate cancer from the face of the Earth. This Is Uncle Dino signing off, and for once In his life he Is pulling for the Duke Blue Devils to take It all - Win it for Coach K!
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We Have Arrived at The Elite 8!We now have only 8 teams left in the tournament and only 2 possible winners:
Uncle Dino tips his cap to the mathematical wizards at PickHoops, If you want to see what your chances are for your best possible finish, go to PickHoops and click on Best Results. Now, Uncle Dino cannot end this Dish without sharing with you the transcript from his interview on the Uncle Dino News Channel after the St. Peter's vs. Purdue game where Uncle Dino was able to speak with the two people who picked St. Peter's to upset Purdue - that's right, none other than Mr. Trump and Mike Did-You-Seback-That! Uncle Dino: Mr. Trump and Mike Seback, thank you so much for joining me on Uncle Dino TV.
Mr. Trump: Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you so much. I just wanted to congratulate Mike Seback, and mostly myself on a tremendous victory by picking St. Peter’s to upset Purdue. You know what, glad we did it together. Mike Seback: Oh, you don't have to say that Mr. Trump. Mr. Trump: It's great to be here, Auntie Dino, and it's great to be frankly, winning again. Oh, we love to win. And you know what you're gonna see a lot more winning with that game from let me tell you, you're gonna see it a lot. We did this together. Mike. We did it. So good. Okay, I really want you to stay. I really, that's okay. Excuse me, Mike. Excuse me. Excuse me, Mike. Excuse me. When it comes to listening, you know what, like you just saw I think Mike listened. Okay. I mean, when you look at it, he's somebody that takes advice. So Well. Because there's a lot of times when I was giving advice, a lot of times I was giving advice and people were listening and it didn't work out so great for some of those people. Okay, I mean, when you look back with Star Wars I said you need to do it with swords. The lasers are not enough. You got to have real swords George I remember, I said this to George. I said if you're going to do Star Wars, okay, you have to have real swords and look at what they're doing but don't look at what they're doing with Dune. I talked to Denny Villanovia I said look at, you know what, look at the success of Dune, look at Chalamet, have a look at all of it, real swords. Okay, real success. So it's, you know, frankly, with Dune, you've got Momoa and everyone's doing flips and it's very Game of Thrones. And people were very disappointed I think with Game of Thrones, you know how it ended and everything, but with Dune, I think you've got a lot of possibility with you know, I see a lot of possibility, 2, 3, 4, 5 movies, and frankly, I see a lot of possibility with St. Peter’s winning it all. Uncle Dino: Mr. Trump, how do you keep this all in your brain? Mr. Trump: Well, I had my ears sealed long ago, so nothing comes in and nothing goes out. Uncle Dino: Mr. Trump, you never actually made your picks together with Mike Seback? Did you? Mr. Trump: Well, no, I never did, Mike. Mike. Don't you dare. Don't go anywhere. Don't you dare Mike, you need to hear this. You know, I was never there, there with Mike. You know, there, there. I was never there, there. But I told lots of people they should pick St. Peter’s to go all the way. Okay. And you know what, most people don't like Mike. But he's a wonderful guy. Okay. Most people don't like him, but he's a wonderful guy. Okay, he’s rich like my sons. Okay, Mike. You're like a son to me. Mike Seback: Please don't say that Mr. Trump. Mr. Trump: Mike, he's a wonderful guy, but these busy folks. Oh my gosh, the PC police. They don't like him. They don't like him at all. They don't like anything these PC voters. You can't please them at all. They don't even like Chris Pratt as Mario. And you know what? I'm very close with Mario. Very close with Luigi. You know our wives play golf together. They play Mario Golf together and Peaches is a very close friend of mine. Peaches had it hard, but Peaches is so great. And with the Toads by the way, I do great with the Toads. I do great. You know the little mushroom people, the Toad people, a lot of them came out in the last election. And the Toads love Chris Pratt the Toads love Chris Pratt. And as Mario is going to do a lot better than that awful Eternals movie and I tell you that it's a lot better than Eternals. You know what with the Eternals, it was too diverse. It was too diverse. And no one wants to see it, that the movie is rotten, just ask the Tomatoes, just ask the Tomatoes, it's rotten. And you can't even get tomatoes anymore because of this awful shipping nightmare that we've got with Slow Joe Biden, okay. And you know what, this is true. This is true. Mike. Excuse me, Mike, excuse me. This is true. You know, a guy came up to me the other day, big guy bigger than anything, tears in his eyes. And he says, he said to me, sir, my name is Santa Claus. And Christmas has been canceled. Christmas has been canceled sir. And I said we're not going to let that happen Santa. And that's why I asked him to give an Elite 8 berth to St. Peter’s. And we did it together, we did it together because it's a great country. Santa did it because he loves America, he loves St. Peter’s, and he loves Trump. Uncle Dino: Wow, Mr. Trump, you're a genius, a Patriot and one incredible NCAA tournament upset picker – in fact, all your picks were an upset. Thanks to you Mr. Trump and to you Mike for joining me here on Uncle Dino TV. Mike Seback: You’re wel…. Mr. Trump: (interrupting Mike) Thank, you, thank you for having me Auntie Dino. With a wink and nod to Uncle Dino's friends at SNL. It has certainly been a very interesting tournament thus far. Even though some of you were expecting perfection, given the odds of 1 in 1,470,925,948,011 (a special nod of thanks to Dan and Noah Rutman for calculating the odds leveraging their superhuman Excel skills), suffice to say you will need to try again next year! I'm talking to you Christian, Sean, Matthew and Lori Kelly, Uncle Dino’s immediate family, whom he expects nothing but perfection in all that they do, after all Uncle Dino sets the example each and every day…please pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!!
Before Uncle Dino exalts the feats of the leaders, let us peruse the under dwellers and their less than spectacular performance thus far in the pool – Uncle Dino’s favorite part of “The Dish.” First, it goes without saying that Uncle Dino wants to build the self esteem of everyone else in the pool, and it is for this reason you do not see Uncle Dino leading the pool…true story! let’s start our journey at the depths of the standings. Uncle Dino will need to board the Dino Deep Sea Submersible to descend to the depths to find Andrew “Mariana Trench” Pate at the lowest level of the pool, closely followed by Chad “Humpback Anglerfish” Peterson who, like his picks, tends to inhabit the Abyssopelagic Zone. A place known for “marine snow” which is basically a continuous shower of organic detritus consisting of dying plankton, protists, and fecal matter – much like Chad’s picks, with an emphasis on fecal matter!! And in 3rd to last place is Fritz Nelson who obviously forgot to wear his water wings when he waded into the Pool this year! As the Dino Deep Sea Submersible ascends from the abyss we can see a little bit of light starting to shine down, but unfortunately not nearly enough to give Laura I-Was-Not-Maready-for-The-Pool or Joe Biden’s picks of malarky a chance for redemption. Next on the list is Lord Byron Kanaley who entered the Pool twice using some strategerey to ensure that one bracket performed better than other. And it is great to see that Lord Byron did not disappoint with one bracket in 42nd place with 255 points but the other bracket performing much better at 41st place with 256 points. Uncle Dino wants to commend Lord Byron on a job well done! Getting closer to the surface we arrive at Nothin-But-Net-Lenz in 17th place. Uncle Dino suggests a different name for next year’s Pool, something like Bricklane-Lenz? Now the Dino Deep Sea Submersible can see the light as he approaches the Top 10. In 10th place is Tom This-Pool-Gives-Me-The-Mills, the proprietor in Nickies, lower Haight’s neighborhood sports bar. I highly recommend you stop by if you find yourself in San Francisco for some fine food and perhaps conversation and insight that will get you to 10th place!! Michaela Are-You-Related-To-Peyton Manning in 9th, Jim I-Like-My-Internet-Brower in 8th, Noel Vierra in 7th, Janet Bloomin'-Loomis in 6th, Bruce The-Starnes-Will-Not-Align-This Year in 5th, Katelyn Uncle-Merendino in 4th, Christian Machine-Gun-Kelly in 3rd, Danielle I-Used-Quick-Pick Tarp in 2nd and last but not least, King Richard The Altschuler floating to the top! Now Uncle Dino has good news for three of you, but bad news for everyone else. There are only 3 remaining brackets that can finish first in order of probability:
If you want to get an idea of which team you should root for, for your best finish click on this LINK. For those of you who have not Donated please do. Thanks for being a part of this. Now off to the Elite 8. BRRRRUUUUUCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEE!! Leading the pool is Bruce The-Starnes-Have Aligned with 302 points, aided by savvy picks like Miami over USC and New Mexico State over UConn and a 10-point Uncle Dino Bonus bestowed upon him for picking all Round 1 Games in the South Region correctly – one can hear him belting out Glory Days around the house yesterday! Noel “No Look” Vierra is close behind in 2nd with 298 points just missing a bonus thanks to the Kentucky House Cats, um, I mean Wildcats! No Look simply entered a risk % of 12.19%, closed her eyes and hit “Quick Pick” and voilà! Noel applies the same strategy when choosing her stock portfolio…currently up 57% YTD! Andrew Hery-Go-Again rounds out the top three. He too was disappointed by the House Cats, but he might surprise with choosing Nova and da’ Badgers to make it to the Final Four. We shall see. What Uncle Dino never expected was to see the father son duo of Dan and Noah Rutman nowhere near the top – Noah in 37th place still has his Final Four intact but father Dan…in 49th place was not something Uncle Dino would have thought he would ever see. Following closely behind is Fritz “Fear the Turtle" Nelson in 50th place. His performance is obviously a result of his University of Maryland degree. First time pool participant The-First-Noel Vierra has risen to the top riding her upset pick of the Itsy Bitsy Richmond Spiders over Iowa and selecting Michigan over the Rams of Colorado State. After the first 16 games Donald J. Trump is almost in first place! When Uncle Dino called The Donald to let him know, the former president was quoted as saying “Throughout my life, my two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart. I am also a VERY successful businessman, top T.V. star, oh, and President of the United States (on my first try). This is good news Uncle Dino, I have accomplished many things but being first in your pool is perhaps one of the greatest, you know what, it is the greatest achievement I have ever made, and you know what, picking a bracket with anything less than a 100% risk rating is for losers and me, me, I’m a winner.” Wow, Uncle Dino is grateful for your praise sir? Andrew Hery-Go-Again and Bruce The-Starnes-Have-Aligned, round out the Top 3 with their shrewd upset pick of New Mexico State making Pistol Pete proud I reckon! Now Uncle Dino is on vacation, and yes this Dish is a bit weak, but frankly not nearly as weak and Kentucky’s performance last night! |
AuthorUncle Dino Is An NC State Alumnus Who Graduated From North Carolina State University In 1984 With A Degree In Accounting. Jim Valvano Made His 4 Years At NC State Memorable In Many Ways, Not To Mention The 1983 Wolfpack Victory Against The University Of Houston Or "Phi Slama Jamma" For The 1983 NCAA Championship. Uncle Dino Is Tom Kelly, A Cloud Computing Enthusiast (Twitter @TKcloud) Who Wants To Use The Cloud To Give To A Great Cause. Yes Office Pools Are Fun, But Doing So For The Greater Good Is More Than Fun...It's The Right Thing To Do. Archives
March 2023
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